There are a few things I would like to address that I strongly feel should be removed from the aging process entirely.
Chicken neck. WTF? Really? In my opinion, this is a major fail in the evolution process. I do not appreciate turning 40 and noticing my neck is starting to resemble a testicle. Why not the back of the thigh? At least you can hide that. Also, do men even get this? Or is it just one of the many injustices faced by women that men are fortunate enough to be completely exempt from? I do believe this is my least favorite thing about getting older.
Skintags. These are just nasty. I would really like a medical explanation for this unsightly phenomenon. Also, I've noticed they seemingly appear over night and in the most inopportune places, like armpits or the lower back area, or in my case, the dead ass center of my neck. Sorry, I mean my chicken neck. There is actually a product you can buy called "Tag Away" that will supposedly remove skintags. I find nail clippers work just fine and they are free.
Liver spots. Also known as sun spots. Now, I can see how the sun is a major culprit here, but the liver? What in the hell does your liver have to do with brown spots on your skin? If my liver had anything to do with this process, my spots would be more like blisters and filled with vodka.
Sleeplessness. "Older people don't need as much sleep" - I find that in my case, the total opposite is true here. I feel as though I could sleep more now than ever, but usually my body starts aching if I lay in bed for too long, especially my lower back. This is just shitty. Dear God, I'm sorry for all the times when I was little that I didn't want to take a nap. If I could just have those hours of sleep back now, I would really appreciate it. Thank you.
Rogue hairs. Okay, seriously, this is nothing but a disgrace to woman everywhere. While they are usually ridiculously long and most of the time black, again, the location, not okay. 90% of the time they are on our chins and jawline!! That's just wrong on so many levels. Add to this that we are going blind and can't even see the hairs and it's just down right insulting. I don't even know what else to say about this.
Wrinkles. Last and least for me is wrinkles. I am a very animated person and I maintain exaggerated facial expressions all day long, so it's no surprise to me that my face resembles a Shar-pei's. I would be a liar if I said I didn't think about them from time to time, but, given my personality and how much I love making people laugh, to me they are a small price to pay for bringing a bit of joy into the world.
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