Lovely Quotes

A closed mouth gathers no foot. - My Dad

Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit. - My Mom

I’ll lift you and you lift me and we'll both ascend together. - John Greenleaf Whittier

If you ever get lonely you just go to the record store and visit your friends. - Penny Lane

And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud became more painful than the risk it took to blossom. – Anais Nin

This is my simple religion. There is no need for temples; no need for complicated philosophy. Our own brain, our own heart is our temple; the philosophy is kindness. - Dalai Lama

When the student is ready, the master appears. - Buddhist Proverb

Whatever you look for in others tends to rise to the surface. - Unknown

If you’re smilin with the cosmos the motherfuckin cosmos is smiling back at ya. - Chris Robinson

Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn't learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn't learn a little, at least we didn't get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn't die; so, let us all be thankful. - Buddha

May 17, 2013

I Know What Victoria's Secret Is.

Her secret is she needs glasses.  Her merchandise is getting smaller and smaller by the minute.  Clearly she can't see that her slave laborers are cheating her out of millions by using way less fabric than in the past.

Earlier in one of my posts, I mentioned that I am a fan of large cotton underwear.  I still am, but recently I decided that I would treat myself to some sexier, prettier panties.  Not for any particular reason, just that I figured it was time to cut the chord to my Hanes.  I suppose the fact that some of my friends relentlessly tease me about my obsession with high waisted briefs didn't hinder my decision.

So, yesterday after work I went to Victoria's Secret.  This is when I noticed she was in dyer need of spectacles.  Strewn all over the walls and tables were bras and panties that were half the size they used to be when I shopped there years ago.  All I could think to myself was poor Victoria!  She really should find a decent Opthalmologist.

Feeling filled with angst over poor Vickie and her terrible eyesight, I ran out of there as fast as I could, refusing to support a company that was so clearly taking total advantage of a poor, elderly woman's declining eyesight.  It was such a heartbreaking situation, I immediately headed to Olive Garden and got an order of fettuccine alfredo to go, just to calm myself down a bit.  Oh wait, first I stopped at Piercing Pagoda and bought a cute pair of earrings.  Oh, and I also smelled some perfume at the Clinique counter.  Anyway, I was extremely distraught.

Okay, obviously I didn't really run out of Victoria's Secret.  I just came to terms with the fact that I'm getting older and I don't wear a medium panty anymore and I prefer full coverage bras now, which is more than fine with me.

I did get some really cute stuff though.  Next time I make out with a random boy in a bathroom I should shine in the intimate apparel department.

Unfortunately, I ate the pasta like I hadn't eaten in a week, which I probably shouldn't do again if I want to continue to buy anything from VS.  It gave me heartburn.  Olive Garden is like drinking too much - it's all good going down, but most of the time the aftermath just ain't worth it.