Lovely Quotes

A closed mouth gathers no foot. - My Dad

Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit. - My Mom

I’ll lift you and you lift me and we'll both ascend together. - John Greenleaf Whittier

If you ever get lonely you just go to the record store and visit your friends. - Penny Lane

And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud became more painful than the risk it took to blossom. – Anais Nin

This is my simple religion. There is no need for temples; no need for complicated philosophy. Our own brain, our own heart is our temple; the philosophy is kindness. - Dalai Lama

When the student is ready, the master appears. - Buddhist Proverb

Whatever you look for in others tends to rise to the surface. - Unknown

If you’re smilin with the cosmos the motherfuckin cosmos is smiling back at ya. - Chris Robinson

Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn't learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn't learn a little, at least we didn't get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn't die; so, let us all be thankful. - Buddha

January 18, 2013

I Should Have Taken Home Ec

But only for the cooking aspect of it...I got the rest of that shit down pat.  Well except for the raising a family part.  I don't have kids.  Praise beer!

Yeah, I cannot cook for shit.  I mean for shit.  If there was a "Totally Useless in the Kitchen" award given out every year, I would be the winner, hands down.  I don't know what it is either.  It's like a total mental block.  I know I don't follow recipes very well, and I don't really know anything about seasonings or herbs.  I suppose not knowing the difference between roasting and broiling and baking doesn't help either.  Not wanting to do the dishes every night is a huge contributor, I'm sure.  Okay, well fuck it, I guess I do know why I don't cook much.

I want to learn though because I'm entertaining the idea of falling in love again, and the ability to make a decent meal just seems like something a 40 year old woman ought to be able to do. While I do have an extensive list of redeeming qualities and abilities - arm wrestling, vodka aficionado, totally shameless, wretched sense of humor, professional shot taker, slutty dancing, and an unhealthy obsession with true crime stories - a normal thing like not giving your mate food poisoning should rank high on the list too.

By the way, I'm looking for a very tall, handsome, happy, friendly, calm, honest, smart, funny, compassionate, spiritual, humble, and confident man who loves animals, nature, staying healthy, classic rock, horror movies, and has a good relationship with his family.  This will be quite the departure from my last experience, but armed with even more knowledge and understanding of who I am and what I am about, I shall not make that mistake again.  Fuck no, not today, thank you kindly.  That's a Johnny Depp quote from Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.

Speaking of Johnny Depp, I met a guy the other day who didn't like him.  He didn't like Johnny Depp.  How is that even possible?  I'm not asking you to hump the guy, I'm just asking you to appreciate his talent.  Sheesh.

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